Rain and yogurt. Two things I didn't used to love...

I've lived in Washington my whole life. Besides random three month stays in other states and countries, the Puget Sound has always been home. This means I've never had four season; I've had rain, rain, rain, a little bit of sun, and more rain. I used to hate it, but as I've gotten older, there's something about the rain that is calming and comforting. I've grown to love it. :)

I used to hate yogurt, mainly because I associated it with pain. Finally during my senior year of high school, I went to the doctor, and found out I'm lactose intolerant. Makes sense. Occasionally, I'd sneak in a piece of pizza, some mac and cheese, or a bowl of ice cream. Being vegan has been nice because I'm not tempted to eat those things that hurt my stomach. But, while browsing through Trader Joe's, I found a gem; coconut yogurt!

When I was last in Tennessee, my aunt had this in the fridge, and I don't know why it's taken so long for me to try. IT'S DELICIOUS.

I must say, it's been fun finding things that taste better vegan. Yogurt, hot chocolate, sorbet, cereal... Don't get me wrong, I'm missing pizza... ;)

<3

Snowflakes falling to the ground...

Today has been an interesting day. Nothing spectacular happened, but it was a nice day all to myself. I haven't had this much time to just sit and be... alone in quite some time.
One thing I did today was go to the grocery store because I needed to grab a few things. I was browsing in the natural and organic section and I spotted my favorite meatless 'chicky nuggs' (that's what I call chicken nuggets, I don't know why.) I hadn't purchased them since starting being vegan. I grabbed a box to look at the ingredients and was surprised to see they were filled with eggs and powdered milk. As I was putting the box back and I thought, "Man, there are so many things that I can't eat!"

Interesting moment #1: 

Thinking about what I can't eat will only make me fail. Immediately after I thought about the things I couldn't eat, my mind flooded with challenges and temptations and thoughts of just giving up now. Just then, I was rounding the corner into the meat section and my mind went a completely different route. All of those animal never had a choice. From the moment they were born, it was already decided for them what they were going to be- food. I felt sick as I looked at all of the packaged meats, cheeses, and yogurts thinking of all the animals that are not even valued as such. Their only purpose is for human consumption. Even if you buy organic, cage free, grass fed, or whatever other tactic is used to make us believe these animals are in the best condition, there's still no such thing as humane treatment. Laws are in place to ensure animals are treated humanely. I'm sorry, that's impossible. The very definition of humane is "marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration." There's no way any death of an animal or use of animal for consumer purposes is humane. 

After coming home, I watched a movie called Mary and Martha. It's about two women who travel to Africa with their sons, and both sons end up dying of malaria. After their deaths, the mothers become dedicated to the cause of malaria treatments and aids such as mosquito nets to help lessen the number of deaths from the terrible disease. I cried. Straight cried like a baby. This is partially because Aunt Flo is on her way and mainly because the sad reality is that mothers and fathers lose their sweet, innocent children every day from something that has some ability to be protected against. I can't imagine what it's like as a parent to lose a child, especially to something that could have possibly been prevented if there were appropriate resources.

Interesting moment #2: 

What am I doing here? I spent $600 on a gym membership I never use, $20 on a pair of jeans, $5 on a bundle of flowers, an almost daily $3.53 on my espresso drink, and god only knows where else I've childishly spent my money. Where are my priorities? Do I even have any? What are they? Before you think "This is America, not Africa- we have these resources!" just hear me out. I understand these countries are starkly different in their resources, but communally, think of how much we could help with the 'resources' we have. When I went to Vietnam, I raised almost $1,000 dollars. What if I, we, approached helping others with the same ferocity instead of buying something we don't really need? I guess this is a roundabout way of saying I want to gain better control of my finances, and use them in a way that is actually helpful to our society.

After watching a bit of the Olympics and doing some homework, I was exhausted, so I took a four hour nap. I don't think I've done that since I was a toddler. I woke up to a beautiful blanket of snow outside, and couldn't resist the urge for something warm to drink. I decided to make cinnamon chips and cinnamon hot chocolate. Thanks to my awesome aunt, Erika, I made a delicious vegan hot cocoa powder. The cinnamon chips were super easy, too. The recipe is from The Pioneer Woman who is about as far from vegan as it gets, but I made some substitutions and they turned out wonderfully. (find the recipe HERE!) Mine weren't as aesthetically pleasing, but still just as yummy.
Once my coconut/almond milk was warm, I stirred in my cocoa mix and dipped the chips in the foamed delicousness. So tasty!

Interesting moment #3:  

Being vegan isn't easy... yet. I'm still getting into the routine of checking ingredient labels, but what I am beginning to value is the ability to do so much of this by myself. By that I mean making a lot of things from scratch, and using much healthier alternatives to what I normally used. Watching the snow fall while listening to jazz (my good high school friend Jimmie Herrod) and sipping my hot chocolate allows my mind to wander and I get to a point where I think just how grateful I am for everything. For life, for family and friends, for every breath I get to take, and every moment in between. There's something about snow that seems to wipe away the mental impurities- Even with an inch on the ground, I feel peace. I feel like I'm beginning a very delicate, meaningful transition in my life, and I am ready to take it on. 

XO

What the pho.

I nearly cried.... pho broth, even the vegetarian one,  has fish oil. I WILL NOT SURVIVE.

That is all.

In the meantime. ..

Panera vegetable soup and bread bowls are vegan. This is a very good thing.

Relax, take it easy... (day 3 and 4)

I'm not sure why this song is in my head, but it is, so here you go... :)

UPDATE: Oh my goodness! This is going really well! (I guess I'm just trying to be overly optimistic because I'm sure temptation is looming around a dark corner.)

The past few days have been amazing. The Seahawks parade wrapped through downtown Seattle on Wednesday, and it was such an amazing experience to be a part of. Even though I had to work, I could feel the power of the 12s rushing through the atmosphere- it was unlike anything I've ever seen before.

With the celebrations sprouting generosity in so many people, snacks have been frequent in classrooms and department offices. This little guy right here..... it was waiting on the table in the JPC (John Perkins Center for you non-SPU students). I saw it and knew I wasn't allowed to eat it, but I took it anyway, but with the intentions on giving it to my roommate :) If anyone in Seattle is interested, it's from Frost!

I was super proud of my ability to avoid it. Once I was at work, I ended up eating a whole bag of carrots... Is that normal? I was so deep in my book that I didn't realize how many carrot coins I ate. YUM. My dinner was leftovers from the other night (the noodles and veggies) and I snuck in another of Cait's apple empanadas for dessert :)

Today was a bit of a cheat day, and not in a "bad" way- I just had more sweets than normal. There's a bakery in Seattle called The Flying Apron and they make gluten-free vegan goodies. If you get in early enough, you can get half off day olds... their ginger rounds are my absolute favorite, and the basket was FULL of them. I resisted buying all of them, but I bought two, and a poppy seed muffin, and a Russian tea cookie.

I also realized that I can't drink Swiss Miss. Heart... BROKEN. Does anyone know good alternatives?

After a day of classes and midterms, I ventured to Metropolitan Market for supper where I enjoyed a delicious cup of veggie soup. For dessert, my friend Sami and I treated ourselves to delicious Molly Moon's ice cream. They are one of the few shops in Seattle that offer multiple vegan options! Today I enjoyed salted caramel with cold chocolate sauce. It was so good!

I'm still struggling with finding variety in food. What I need to do is actually make the things I'm posting on Pinterest! I'm stuck in a rut of veggies and toast, and not that those are bad, but I know if I keep up this diet I'll be lacking good nutrients. SO, back to the research board. :)

Until next time! 

XO

Day 1, but for real this time...

I did it! 24 hours without meat, dairy, eggs, or any other animal product. :) I reached for the honey for my tea this morning and sighed a little in disappointment, BUT, I added raw cane sugar instead and it tasted just dandy.

A trip to the grocery store proved to be a little more difficult than I was anticipating. Nearly everything I normally purchased, even if it was vegetarian, had other animal products sneakily placed in their ingredients list. I started to realize though that a lot of products that are vegan will have a seal on the label saying it is certified vegan! That label was helpful when it came to some of my normal products that I reluctantly had to place back on the shelf- like bread! So many of them had milk protein in them; I had no idea! Luckily I found a vegan, organic, non-GMO bread that I'm really excited to try. In my trip today, I purchased some tasty goodies along with my bread... Tons of bananas and avocados, a mango, some leafy greens, and of course some tasty meat alternatives. My favorite purchase though has to be the white chocolate peanut butter. I've always wanted to try this, and it just so happened to be on sale... I couldn't pass this one up :)

So, with my "day 1" off to a good start, I'm excited to keep moving on. Check out my other tabs of the blog to get more detailed info! :)

MUAH!

Sweet, unfortunate, delicious.... failure. Day 1 and 2.

I picked a terrible time to become vegan. A weekend of football smothered in barbecue sauce, ranch onion dip, and everything cooked and fried to golden (Tate) perfection. Cookies coming at me from every direction, and almost every dessert topped with a glistening dollop of whipped cream.

Needless to say, I didn’t make it more than 10 hours of being vegan. Day one: Fail. I ended up eating a cookie that had egg in it (partially because I didn’t know it, and looked after it was already in my mouth, and partially because I deliberately chose not to look because I was 97% sure it had a dairy product in it) and that set the tone for the day. After my indulgence, I made sure to take advantage of the ruined day- I had peanut butter cups (from Trader Joes, so they’re … kinda good for me, right?) and I put a scoop of whipped cream on my dessert at our family dinner.

Ashamed? Yes, I am. Very, actually. I set a goal, and within hours, I was already making acceptions to my fairly simple goals. All I had to say was “No.” But, it wasn’t that easy, and that took me by surprise. I could have done all the research in the world, but nothing could have prepared me for that first bout with temptation.

This whole weekend, where parties and bars boast their delicious appetizers, my stomach is craving. Wanting. Desiring.  And my mindset yesterday was “Well, I messed up today, so I’ll just start for real on Monday.” How many times does this approach actually work? Let’s be real. Like that one time I said I’d go to the gym tomorrow, or I’ll read that book later, or I’ll study before the night-of an exam… HA. My life seems to be a series of procrastination, and that troubles me. Looking back, and somewhat forward, I can see these decisions being made and nothing coming of it. My goals and plans and wants going…  absolutely nowhere. Loose fifteen pounds, read 100 pages, actually get an A on an exam… Nothing. It hasn’t happened. And, that’s my own entire fault, because I can’t stick to anything.

I want to change that. I want to FINALLY take a stand for something, and stop giving in and quitting because of trivial, unnecessary, and probably only temporarily satisfying instant gratifications. I want to prove to myself that I can do this; that I can learns self-control, and how to stand up and stick to what I want.

Of course, I’ll read back over my “pep-talk” tonight… after I’ve eaten my way through the Super Bowl.

Ugh.

XO